IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

What do you think is the best way to find a job: by gaining more knowledge and education or through more practical skills? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

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It’s undeniable that finding a career has been considered a primary topic these days.
However
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, there are two kinds of ways to reach a job: either having more personal experience and abilities or gaining better knowledge and higher scholarship. From my perspective, I believe that both of them have the same value and should be shared in every individual job, and I will present both reasons and information to support my ideas. Research has found that people who have both techniques
such
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 as scholarship and personal
skills
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 are more able to complete their tasks more effectively.
For instance
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, when an engineer starts his new career he might have the knowledge and the idea of the design, but he has no practical
skills
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 when it comes to handmade jobs.
Moreover
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, In order to reach a higher level of improvement in any specific business people should combine their mindset and technical operation,
otherwise
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, they will stay in the same place.
In addition
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, when people tend to go to schools and universities and get a punch of education degree might have advantages more than practical
skills
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. The fundamental reason for
that is
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 they already have the basics and the starting point so they will not get a distraction.
Furthermore
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, learning several kinds of
skills
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 in spontaneous ways and methods will present issues and errors and the lowest efficiency. In conclusion, studying and life experience ability can bring potential effects, but I think that scholarship and the new generation of knowledge have more common factors in which job needs it.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded argument, discussing the importance of both education and practical skills. In future essays, try to provide more distinct examples from real-life situations or studies to further support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively use connectors to organize your ideas and paragraphs, which aids in the overall flow of your essay. To enhance your coherence, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words.
Task Achievement
You effectively explore both sides of the argument, which shows a deep understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the prompt, helping the reader to understand your viewpoint from the beginning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialized fields
  • certifications
  • educational institution
  • professions
  • theoretical knowledge
  • regulated
  • application
  • skillset
  • hands-on experience
  • trade jobs
  • apprenticeship
  • balance
  • combination
  • the job market
  • technological advancements
  • upskilling
  • mid-career transition
  • employer expectations
  • practical application
  • continuous learning
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