Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion that authority contributes to the increasing numbers of offspring with overweight. I disagree with the viewpoint because it is impossible for politics to prevent unrelated problems, especially when the causes can come from many directions.
Although
the authority is responsible for public interests, not all problems can solve with top-down methods. Therefore
, in certain situations, the community should take action so there will be a better result. For example
, if parents and schools work together, they will come up with the solutions that suit their heir better, because they already consider their situation beforehand.
Yet another reason is heir has many activities and they meet many adults who will pay attention to their diets, so the problem factors could be many things. For example
, that might be because of their binge eating habits at home or their lunch menus at school which do not provide adequate nutrition. Furthermore
, how much time they spend on exercise can also
affect their weight, at least prevent obesity.
To sum up, obesity is not anyone's fault, there are many causes that can affect children's health. Let alone, put the blame on the state which already has many burdens.Submitted by purnizamaysitha on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite