Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while other think that good working atmosphere is more important, Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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Some would argue that having
high
Add an article
a high
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salary
is a priority in choosing a workplace,
while
others believe that a good working ambience matters more.
Although
being paid well may ensure
a
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apply
show examples
stable finance, it is my belief that a positive working environment brings out more benefits
due to
the justifications and illustrations provided below. On the one hand, a high
salary
can lead to financial stability.
This
is to say that adequate
salary
allows individuals to pay bills,
save
Correct word choice
and save
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for the future, on top of that, they can invest in personal growth activities
such
as education and travel.
This
stability is a crucial aspect of a high quality of life. Actually,
salary
is always a key element for employees when they consider applying for a position. In Vietnam, big corporations like Vingroup or Sungroup are among
most
Correct article usage
the most
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selected choices by candidates since they often offer positions with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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. I believe that
although
the benefit of
high
Correct article usage
a high
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salary
is undeniable,
this
may cause detrimental health problems because employees are consistently under much pressure at work.
On the other hand
, working in a positive environment obviously improves
job
satisfaction.
It is clear that
job
satisfaction is always an important factor when choosing a workplace as it can lead to higher productivity.
This
is because workers who feel valued and supported are more likely to be loyal to their company and stay long-term.
For example
, in Vietnam, after working a few years in a big company, employees tend to quit their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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due to
a lot of stress at work. They rather choose another
job
that offers
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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salary
but
having
Wrong verb form
has
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a friendly atmosphere so that they can have a better work-life balance. I am of the opinion that choosing a positive working environment is much more essential as one's mental well-being matters the most. In conclusion, in spite of
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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stability and security for life that
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
may bring out in
a
Correct article usage
the
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short-term
Correct your spelling
short term
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, working in a positive place is more important for individuals to ensure
a
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apply
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long-term happiness.
Submitted by kelsey.aston.aie on

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Coherence and cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a slightly clearer division of paragraphs, particularly in the body. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and elaborates on it fully before moving to the next.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction could be made more succinct and direct to immediately capture the reader's attention. Consider revising the first sentence to be more straightforward.
Task response and achievement
Deepen the analysis of your main points. Instead of briefly stating examples, provide more details and explain how these examples are directly relevant to the argument.
Task response and achievement
Diversify your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Avoid repetitive sentence beginnings and structures to maintain the reader's interest.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay consistently ties back to the main argument, showing a clear and maintained stance throughout.
Task response and achievement
The examples used are relevant and help to illustrate the points effectively. Specific examples related to Vietnam add authenticity and grounding to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • career advancement
  • professional development
  • networking
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • mental health
  • job satisfaction
  • positive work environment
  • valued and supported
  • loyalty to company
  • long-term commitment
  • stress levels
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