IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that film is a less important art than other forms such as literature and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In terms of
art
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, the comparison between movies and other
types
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 of
art
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such
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 as painting and literature has been a favourable topic to discuss.
This
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 essay disagrees with the fact that
films
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 play a less pivotal role than other kinds of abstract
art
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 and will outline the reasons. Supporters of
this
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 argue that
films
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 just carry and convey entertaining values, not as much academic and historical ones as those other
types
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such
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 as poems, sculptures and so on. As the film industry appeared later than other artistic forms, it evolved later and
therefore
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 hasn't had so much phenomenal influence on the world.
Conversely
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, painting, poetry and a multitude of old artistic
types
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 have a long and arduous evolution and once acted as basic entertainment among people, which, as time went by, gradually collected meaningful messages and values.
However
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,
this
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 point overlooks the power of
films
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 that can bring.
However
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, I believe that
films
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 are considered as imperative as other
types
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. With the rapid development of technology,
films
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 can bring older creations into it and keep them alive and unforgettable.
For instance
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, the Guardian of the Galaxy series brought a list of songs from the 20th century as Star Lord's favourite, which somehow kept those reclusive ones being known and enjoyed.
Moreover
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, since
films
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 are not static work, they are easily arranged and able to carry more messages than older forms do. With the same example, Guardian of the Galaxy's main theme is an embodiment of friendship, family, and other lessons, way more valuable than static ones
such
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 as sculptures and statues.
To sum up
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, the appearance of the film industry marked a phenomenal evolution in
art
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 and entertainment in all aspects.
Therefore
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 it is unreasonable that
films
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 are underestimated and considered less crucial than other arts

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear response to the task, it could benefit from further development. Try to include additional examples and evidence to strengthen the arguments made. This will provide a more comprehensive response and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Some transition words and phrases were used effectively, but a more varied range of cohesive devices could be incorporated to further enhance the fluidity of the essay. This would help in connecting the ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the essay structure and has a positive impact on readability.
task achievement
The arguments presented are clear and comprehensible, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. The examples provided, such as the reference to 'Guardians of the Galaxy,' help illustrate the points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic
  • artistic expression
  • cultural significance
  • historical context
  • impactful
  • literary works
  • masterpiece
  • medium (e.g., medium of film)
  • narrative techniques
  • painting styles
  • pedagogical
  • perception
  • profound
  • technological advancement
  • visual storytelling
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