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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #doubt #globalisation #world #people #business #nations #criticise #progress
Some individuals often argue saying internationalisation has greatly benefited the planet by uniting people,
enterprisesand
Correct your spelling
enterprises and
enterprise and
 countries. While others dispute claiming it has hindered success. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and think that globalism has more merits than drawbacks.
To begin
 with, globalism has eased
spread
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
 of innovation and technology.
This
 is because individuals can exchange knowledge with international partners.
Therefore
, advancing
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
 the populace.
For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg, an American citizen co-founded Facebook with a Brazilian national after they met at
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 of Havard.
Thus
, globalisation has benefited the science industry.
In addition
, cross-culture exchange between countries and citizens has improved. Nowadays, people are able to travel to different nations without restrictions to learn new traditions and
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
.
As a result
, returning home with new traditions.
Hence
, interchanging customs among different tribes across the world.
Furthermore
, business firms often have access to new markets. Due to
exploration
Correct article usage
the exploration
show examples
 and expansion of enterprises beyond
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
boarders
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
. Which is a result of, good international relations.
For example
, Shoprite, a South African supermarket has outlets throughout southern Africa due to new business opportunities. Thence, increased profit margins due to expansion.
Additionally
, increased tax returns to the treasury due to economic growth. By allowing international investors to
set-up
Correct your spelling
set up
show examples
 companies locally who in return pay
levy
Add an article
a levy
the levy
show examples
 to authorities.
Thus
 two-way mutual benefit. In conclusion, I believe the merits
preponderates
Change the verb form
preponderate
show examples
 the drawbacks
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 trend.
This
 is because globalism comes with
exchange
Add an article
the exchange
show examples
 of knowledge, lifestyle and
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 market for expansion.
Submitted by Mikado on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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