There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Some individuals often argue saying internationalisation has greatly benefited the planet by uniting people,
enterprisesand
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enterprises and
enterprise and

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countries. While others dispute claiming it has hindered success. I completely agree with
this
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opinion and think that globalism has more merits than drawbacks.
To begin
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with, globalism has eased
spread
Correct article usage
the spread

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of innovation and technology.
This
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is because individuals can exchange knowledge with international partners.
Therefore
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, advancing
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions

It seems that invention may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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benefit
Change the verb form
benefits

The plural verb benefit does not appear to agree with the singular subject invention. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the populace.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Mark Zuckerberg, an American citizen co-founded Facebook with a Brazilian national after they met at
university
Correct article usage
the university

Your article usage with the geographic name university of Havard may be incorrect.

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of Havard.
Thus
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, globalisation has benefited the science industry.
In addition
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, cross-culture exchange between countries and citizens has improved. Nowadays, people are able to travel to different nations without restrictions to learn new traditions and
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages

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.
As a result
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, returning home with new traditions.
Hence
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, interchanging customs among different tribes across the world.
Furthermore
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, business firms often have access to new markets. Due to
exploration
Correct article usage
the exploration

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and expansion of enterprises beyond
Correct your spelling
borders
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boarders
Correct your spelling
borders

The word boarders doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Which is a result of, good international relations.
For example
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, Shoprite, a South African supermarket has outlets throughout southern Africa due to new business opportunities. Thence, increased profit margins due to expansion.
Additionally
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, increased tax returns to the treasury due to economic growth. By allowing international investors to
set-up
Correct your spelling
set up

The word set-up doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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companies locally who in return pay
levy
Add an article
a levy
the levy

The noun phrase levy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to authorities.
Thus
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two-way mutual benefit. In conclusion, I believe the merits
preponderates
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preponderate

The verb preponderates does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the drawbacks
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
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trend.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because globalism comes with
exchange
Add an article
the exchange

The noun phrase exchange seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of knowledge, lifestyle and
new
Add an article
a new
the new

The noun phrase new market seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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market for expansion.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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