IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think news has no connection to people’s lives. So then it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that news has no direct impact on human living and It is totally absurd to waste time reading newspapers or watching several news broadcasts on television.I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement as obtaining data about our surroundings is important to keep ourselves updated and personal growth that might be beneficial for future professional opportunities. It is a fact that
due to
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 technological advancements, the world has become a small community.We are connected with other parts of the world. So, it is necessary to keep an eye on worldwide events in order to keep ourselves informed about all the happenings around us.
For example
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, In 2023 the war between Russia and Ukraine affected the economy of all the countries as many tariffs were imposed especially on oil. Russia is the biggest oil exporter country around the globe
as a result
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, gas prices have increased insanely.If we keep
such
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 information it becomes effortless to prepare ourselves for the future. Many jobs demand sufficient knowledge about different genres
such
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 as politics, sports, AI, space or medical fields.If you keep yourself involved by reading news articles or TV shows.It helps us to broaden our horizons, and creativity and observe the incidents from a different perspective.Studies show that 45% of citizens are found more unique in ideas as compared to those who do not spend their time getting knowledge about international affairs. In conclusion, I stand with my former statement that acquiring data through newspapers and programs is crucial in terms of personal development and staying informed regarding universal events.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to maintain consistent tense throughout your essay. For example, use 'has' instead of 'had' when referring to the impact of events that are continuing or if you are referring to their current relevance.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples. You mentioned the war between Russia and Ukraine; providing more context could strengthen your argument significantly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link your ideas more clearly within paragraphs. Use more transition words to connect your sentences and enhance the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Make sure to present a clear counterargument or acknowledgment of the opposing view to strengthen your position and show a balanced understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, effectively expressing disagreement with the notion that news is irrelevant.
Task Achievement
The use of relevant examples demonstrates an understanding of the topic and adds depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your position and reflects back to your main points, which is a strong aspect of coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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