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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society ode. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are many types of
music
Use synonyms
 are being made nowadays. They have been developed by many instruments and they are being famous through
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and apps. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
songs
Use synonyms
 are only for
entertained
Change the form of the verb
entertaining
show examples
, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
others
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 say they have
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I will explain
this
Linking Words
 question as follows.
First
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
music
Use synonyms
 is just a form of entertainment.
In other words
Linking Words
, they think that song is for enjoying like
TV
Add an article
a TV
show examples
 program. It can let
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
listen and enjoy it, but it cannot affect
people
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.
Also
Linking Words
, the story of
music
Use synonyms
 is commonly
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fiction like
novels
Fix the agreement mistake
novel
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, they think the
songs
Use synonyms
 are only a way for entertaining.
Second
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think that
music
Use synonyms
 has
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on
society
Use synonyms
. Each song has
the
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apply
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lyrics and
the
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apply
show examples
stories which can win the sympathy
from
Change preposition
of
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 the
people
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.
Besides
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this
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, the messages of the
music
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 are
also
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 important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. They can be the message of the person who wrote the song to the
community
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.
For example
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,
a
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
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music
Use synonyms
 called ‘Tomboy’ is being famous now. The strong messages of ‘I believe
myself’
Correct your spelling
myself
show examples
, ‘We’re not done’ give
people
Use synonyms
 a strike and won
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 sympathy
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
people
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 think that sounds have
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
community
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. In conclusion, I agree
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
second
Linking Words
 opinion because I have seen much famous
music
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 have impacted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
society
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. Sometimes the messages of
songs
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 can change the
community
Use synonyms
. I
also
Linking Words
 have some
music
Use synonyms
 that I get sympathy
on
Change preposition
for
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. So, I think
songs
Use synonyms
 have
effect
Add an article
an effect
show examples
 on the
community
Use synonyms
.

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