IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports and music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become good sport person or musician. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

#people #talents #sports #music #child #sport #person #musician
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People
Use synonyms
 who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 born with
talents
Use synonyms
 in something like playing
sport
Use synonyms
 or music can help them learn easier and they can achieve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 goal faster. On other hand, some children can be good at them if they have
learn
Change the verb form
learned
show examples
 since they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
childhood
Change preposition
in childhood
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.
In the
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The
show examples
 details of both views for
this
Linking Words
 argument will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Regarding children have a good memory. Their brain
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 fresh and can get
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information more than adults. They can learn and
practice
Use synonyms
 something easier. If
people
Use synonyms
 start to learn something like
sport
Use synonyms
 or music when they were children, they can be successful even though they do not have certain
talents
Use synonyms
. The more they
practice
Use synonyms
, the more they are a good player. Even though
people
Use synonyms
 who
practice
Use synonyms
 hard with
sport
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 or music without certain
talents
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can have achievement but it takes more
time
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 than
people
Use synonyms
 who have
talents
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.
People
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 with
talents
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 are more
advantage
Replace the word
advantaged
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.
People
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 with talent can be easier to learn and do not need to
practice
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 so much
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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between
Change preposition
to
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people
Use synonyms
 who do not have it
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
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 age and
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 without
talents
Use synonyms
 must be so tried and takes
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Linking Words
such
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
 to be successful. In conclusion, everyone can be good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 something without certain
for example
Linking Words
 a good
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 player or musician but they need more
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 and take more
time
Use synonyms
 than
people
Use synonyms
 who have
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
achievement with
sport
Use synonyms
 or
musir
Correct your spelling
music
 or other, they must love to do it and they pay attention
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.
Submitted by ammaysa138sirilak on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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