IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#schools
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In
this
Linking Words
 generation bullying is a big
problem
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 in many schools. and it increases with time and it becomes a big
problem
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 nowadays. and we think about how to control it before its overcome. bullying is a big
problem
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 in many schools it's because of the
parents
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 and their environment.
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 shows their parent's nature too. that how they behave with
others
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 and her
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 affect her child and he starts behaving
similar
Change the adjective
similarly
show examples
 with
others
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. and the other reason is their friend
circle
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 it
also
Linking Words
 depends on the child in which
circle
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 he/she will. we can solve the
problem
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 by giving them good advice and a good friend
circle
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, and their
parents
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also
Linking Words
 have to see
towards
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apply
show examples
them that's how they behave
others
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 in front of them and take care of them
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 environment and give them
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 lifestyle advice, how to talk with
others
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 and how to behave with other with their friends or seniors.
secondly
Linking Words
, our institution has to focus on students that they are not in bad company,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
provide them
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
a good habit classes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good habit class
good habit classes
show examples
 once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week, and tell them their mistakes.
this
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 is the best way to focus on the students. In conclusion, the institution and their
parents
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 have the main role in
this
Linking Words
. they don't support their child on wrong
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 they have to tell them
that
Correct word choice
what
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you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 have done wrong and
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 don't have to do
this
Linking Words
 again
otherwise
Linking Words
, you get punished by
their
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
parents
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 or teacher. and institutions have to focus on their friend
circle
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 in school and
parents
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 at home.
Submitted by sony.bansi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
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