IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#dangers #people #habit #society
It is a fact that smoking is injurious to health and many peoples are well aware of smoking's dangerous effects but still, they continue to satisfy their personal needs
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 smoking. there are a number of causes and some possible solutions for
this
 problem.
First
 of all the main cause of have smoking is
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
show examples
 level of
people
 is
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 day by day. and smoking is
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
show examples
 habit to kill
people
 and increase pollution which is bad for the environment. smoking cause some serious disease which is very dangerous
that
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 cancer and all peoples are well
known
Replace the word
know
show examples
 about that but still they don't quit smoking. in today's world, the younger
people
 find smokers because some are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a style and others are doing that to be fit in a social group where all have to do smoking.
Secondly
, we discussed how to reduce smoking in societies so to avoid
people
 from smoking government should impose high taxes on these products for that it is not affordable for everybody. and
also
 advertisements can
also
 be banned which shows that smoking will not harmful to their health. another solution is putting up advertising posters or banners
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 effects of tobacco in all cities or markets where
people
 can easily view
this
 And smokers will
also
 try some
alternate
Replace the word
alternatives
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that which helps in reducing the habit of smoking In conclusion,
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 and increasing pressure are the main factors that encourage
people
 to start smoking,
therefore
, everyone should do everything which can reduce the number of smokers in our society and the government
also
 take some action against the factories which make that product.
Submitted by sony.bansi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: