IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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Some people think that free social
activities
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 should be a mandatory part of high
school
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 programs.
While
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students
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 who take part in these
activities
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 may face some unexpected issues, I agree that educators should design required
community
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services
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 for their high
school
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students
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 without any payments. On the one hand, the most considerable trouble
affects
Correct pronoun usage
that affects
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students
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 when participating in public
activities
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 is the shortage of time. Particularly, they may be less focused on their core lessons in class,
even
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and even
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 lack leisure time because of spending too much time
for
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on
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community
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services
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.
Besides
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, there are obligatory
services
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 which do not suit
to
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apply
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everyone.
For example
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, working for a charity
at
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in
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 mountainous places or suburban areas requires
students
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 to have to go far away or teaching sports to younger children at
outdoor
Correct article usage
an outdoor
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stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
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 demands
a
Remove the article
apply
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good health. All of these types of work do not fit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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the weak girls or unhealthy
students
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.
On the other hand
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, attending unpaid public
services
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 will bring great benefits to high
school
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students
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.
Firstly
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, these programs create a positive environment for
students
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 to be raised in a holistic way, not only improving their social knowledge but
also
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motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
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 their perception
about
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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outdoor life.
This
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 is really an appropriate method to train them on how to work for the interest of
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community
Correct article usage
the community
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instead
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 of living only for themselves.
Secondly
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, taking part in public
activities
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such
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 as volunteer campaigns and charity organizations is a highlighted point which makes their resume brilliant. If an applicant who has the same
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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, as well as experiences with other candidates, would like to apply for a scholarship or a competitive job, his past
activities
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 for the interest of
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community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 may make an outstanding contribution in helping him defeat the others. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some disadvantages, it seems to me that we should design more unpaid obligatory
community
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 programs for high
school
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students
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.
Submitted by yousufbhuiyan20 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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