There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you disagree or agree?

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It is often thought that
Add a hyphen
well-liked

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well liked
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well-liked

It appears that well liked is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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television
line ups
Correct your spelling
lineups

The word line ups seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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should focus on educating their audience more about significant matters of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will completely disagree
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opinion and explain why.
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of
all
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,all

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase First of all. Consider adding a comma.

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if popular television
line ups
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lineups

The word line ups seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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aim at only broadcasting educational issues of the society a lot of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that watch these programmings would end up living a boring and stressful life because most humans use television as a main source of entertainment which helps them relax and stay happy through most of the time.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
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,example

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music videos, cartoons, reality shows etc are mostly watched to provide a form of leisure for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

keeping
Change the verb form
to keep

Keeping doesn’t seem to work here.

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away from their usual boring and stressful lives.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the reason why televising only important life matters would be disadvantageous for most
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Secondly
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,Secondly

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Secondly. Consider adding a comma.

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most directors and actors of these programmings would be limited to only focusing
 a 
Change preposition
on  a 

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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particular aspect of what they can produce or act about
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could lead them into being unsatisfied with what they do or rather not show their full potential.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
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,instance

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a lot of movie directors or actors are only able to enjoy their work fully because they are at liberty to come up or work with anything that satisfies them.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

limiting them to a certain narrative would affect them negatively. In
conclusion
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,conclusion

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In conclusion. Consider adding a comma.

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televising I believe that televising only matters that are important to society may cause the population to stay bored and stressed while leaving producers and the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

acting unable to achieve job satisfaction.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
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