There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Students

Use synonyms

nowadays are under a lot of pressure to achieve

academical

Replace the word

academic

show examples

success in order to get into a good university or secure a

well paid

Add a hyphen

well-paid

show examples

job. For

this

Linking Words

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

some people argue that schools need to focus on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

and vocational

subjects

Use synonyms

should

therefore

Linking Words

not

taught

Add a missing verb

be taught

show examples

at schools. I would argue that while academic

skills

Use synonyms

are important, schools need to teach a wide range of both academic and more

skills

Use synonyms

-based

subjects

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

should not only be about teaching academic

skills

Use synonyms

but a wider range of life

skills

Use synonyms

so that

students

Use synonyms

can join society when leaving

school

Use synonyms

. Practical

subjects

Use synonyms

can help to teach these

skills

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, physical education teaches

students

Use synonyms

how to work as part of a team and

also

Linking Words

the importance of being healthy.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if cookery is taught

then

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

would learn a great deal about health and nutrition.

Secondly

Linking Words

, academic

subjects

Use synonyms

are not of equal

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

all

students

Use synonyms

. There is the possibility of including more practical

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

on the syllabus like woodwork, textile design and computing

skills

Use synonyms

. If they study these

subjects

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

will increase their employment prospects and could help them to secure employment when they leave

school

Use synonyms

. It is important to remember that not all

students

Use synonyms

will continue to higher education and

school

Use synonyms

needs to enable those

students

Use synonyms

to find work.

Finally

Linking Words

, too much pressure should not be put on

school

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

. Taking part in

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

like art, music or drama gives

students

Use synonyms

the opportunity to be creative.

This

Linking Words

could help them to manage stress degrees and have more productive in other areas. In

conclusion

Add a comma

,conclusion

show examples

I would argue that

although

Linking Words

academic

subjects

Use synonyms

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

important,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should not be the only focus of a

school

Use synonyms

syllabus. There are a number of benefits to teaching

students

Use synonyms

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

Submitted by Mikado on Tue Mar 29 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

301 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today’s climate, the manner of management and making decisions in companies has become a controversial minefield. While a group of people argue that it is better that decision would be made by managers, another group, including me, believes that employees can have a significant role in this process.
7
band
The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone. Do you agree or disagree?
Globalization helps businesses and organizations to scale up on an international level. I agree that globalization produces positive effects among people, but not for everyone. It has problems intrinsic to it, which need to be uncovered and must be tackled and resolved. It has the potential to spread advanced technologies and innovations. Most countries are connected to each other around the world, so knowledge transfers so quickly. The more speed the knowledge transferred, the more productivity and innovations can be expected. It also enables economic advancement. For example, I can access whatever I want to learn, regardless of where I am living. This can advance my knowledge and enhance my ability to create new projects. However, this trend affects local businesses and organizations. They don’t have that much capacity in any aspect to beat the big business giants in competition. Increased competition and increased productivity also result in psychological disturbances. Globalizat...
5.5
band
Many cities are replacing cars with bicycles. What are the reasons for this? Which do you think is better?
In the contemporary era, for the well-being of society, many nations are promoting bicycles for commuting instead of cars. This shift from four-wheelers to two-wheelers would prove to be an effective measure for not only people's health but also serve as a great aid to protect the environment.
7.5
band
In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?
Some people argue that the internet fosters greater social networking by providing a platform for individuals to connect. I completely agree with this viewpoint, as the internet enables people to find like-minded partners and showcase their achievements.
6
band
local council is considering closing a sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter • give details of how you and your friends or family use the centre • explain why the centre is important for the local community • describe the possible effects on local people if the centre closes
Dear Sir or Madam, I am John Reyyes, one of the members of the local community, writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with your plan to close the sports and leisure centre that will have negative effects on us. My family and i have been using the centre since we moved to this area. Firstly, my wife has taken up a yoga course there and this sport from the sports centre has had a positive impact on our lives. Secondly, my children have been working out there in the past year. As a result, they are away from getting addicted to the drugs. This centre is vitally important for the local community here, and it has brought many benefits with it. Youths are having healthy lives due to the variety of courses is cooperating with their schools to make it easier to develop thier skills and express themselves in this society. I am looking forward to your reply in order to change your mind about saving this centre instead of closing it to save money.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

Many cities are replacing cars with bicycles. What are the reasons for this? Which do you think is better?

In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?