There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students
nowadays are under a lot of pressure to achieve
academical
Replace the word
academic
show examples
success in order to get into a good university or secure a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
job. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
some people argue that schools need to focus on academic
subjects
and vocational
subjects
should
therefore
not
taught
Add a missing verb
be taught
show examples
at schools. I would argue that while academic
skills
are important, schools need to teach a wide range of both academic and more
skills
-based
subjects
.
Firstly
,
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
should not only be about teaching academic
skills
but a wider range of life
skills
so that
students
can join society when leaving
school
. Practical
subjects
can help to teach these
skills
to
students
.
For example
, physical education teaches
students
how to work as part of a team and
also
the importance of being healthy.
Furthermore
, if cookery is taught
then
students
would learn a great deal about health and nutrition.
Secondly
, academic
subjects
are not of equal
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
all
students
. There is the possibility of including more practical
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects
on the syllabus like woodwork, textile design and computing
skills
. If they study these
subjects
students
will increase their employment prospects and could help them to secure employment when they leave
school
. It is important to remember that not all
students
will continue to higher education and
school
needs to enable those
students
to find work.
Finally
, too much pressure should not be put on
school
students
. Taking part in
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects
like art, music or drama gives
students
the opportunity to be creative.
This
could help them to manage stress degrees and have more productive in other areas. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
I would argue that
although
academic
subjects
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
important,
this
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should not be the only focus of a
school
syllabus. There are a number of benefits to teaching
students
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects
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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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