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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that
indulgance
Correct your spelling
indulgence
 in a hobby leads to greater development of
life
Use synonyms
 skills in comparison to time utilized on reading. I strongly agree with the statement because involvement in activities helps in overcoming shyness in
a
Remove the article
apply
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and it teaches a
real
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real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 lesson.
First
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 of all, hobbies
makes
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make
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 a person outgoing which helps in making a friendship circle. There are
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 which involves
participation
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the participation
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 of different
people
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 and it leads to the strengthening of
bond
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the bond
a bond
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 among them which is not possible in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of reading
books
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.
For instance
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,
game
Add an article
the game
a game
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 of cricket include 11
palyers
Correct your spelling
players
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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ground, so to win a match there should be a team effort by all the members of
team
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the team
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. If all the members of a team will not perform equally, the probability of winning a match declines significantly.
Therefore
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, active pastime helps in the building of long term relationships by overcoming shyness, which plays
crucial
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a crucial
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 role in
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people
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people's
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 lives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, participation in
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 helps to learn about
real
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real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 lessons. To elaborate on
this
Linking Words
, hobbies makes us aware of
real
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real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 problems, which is totally different from sitting inside
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it enhances the
creatvity
Correct your spelling
creativity
 among the
people
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 and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them
to
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apply
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care for others, which is the fundamental
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principle
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principal
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principle
show examples
 of being
human
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a human
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 being.
Such
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real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 lessons are
impoosible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 to learn by going through
books
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.
For example
Linking Words
, it has been researched that those
people
Use synonyms
 who allocate more time
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 outdoor
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, appears to be more creative and smart in mitigating
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 daily problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, it plays a pivotal role in making us aware of
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 issues. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that involvement in hobbies are more beneficial in enhancing
life
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 skills than that
of
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apply
show examples
reading
books
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 because it
result
Change the verb form
results
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 in
overall
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the overall
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 grooming of a person by making them
extrovert
Correct article usage
an extrovert
show examples
 and teaches
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable learning about
life
Use synonyms
 which is challenging to gain only by reading
books
Use synonyms
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-discipline
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Kinesthetic learning
  • Cognitive development
  • Empathy
  • Resilience
  • Dexterity
  • Analytical skills
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