IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

18.Some people say that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years
Some of the individuals have to think about their children's basic training activity. Some of the strengths are ideas about kids having to study until they become adults.
Also
,
this
 schooling has to be taken all day. In
this
 article, I will talk about my opinion. And
finally
, I will say ' Do I accept
this
 thought or not?'.
Firstly
, schooling is the most important thing for our youngest generations. School can teach us everything about our world. Actually, training begins within the family
then
 it continues with teachers in the academy. It is necessary to be a human. Because folks live with each other, and
also
 they learn a lot of things from others. Humanity, with their born, who are open to learning. At our youngest ages is pretty much easy to ascertain something. So that's why we have to spend our time as a valuable.
Due to
this
 thought some societies decided that anyone under the age of 18 needed to go to primary, secondary and high school.
Secondly
,
on the other hand
, these places can give us a standard teaching. It means, teaches pattern skills.
However
, everyone is different. All kids have dissimilar lifestyles, aptitudes and
also
 even the things he enjoys in his soul are several. Because of
this
 not everyone can follow the same path. In conclusion, the issue, which is very important for the future of families, needs to be considered by taking into account the differences between individuals. In my opinion, I do not support
this
 stereotypical thinking. Because the heart already shows kids the way should follow.
Submitted by ecem.tekben on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay more logically. A clearer distinction between paragraphs and a logical flow from the introduction, through the main body, to the conclusion can help make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses the task. Expand on your points by providing more detailed explanations and examples. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to express your ideas more precisely. This will enhance the quality of your essay and your score.
task achievement
Including specific, relevant examples to support your points can strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!