Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones or laptops. Is this a good or bad things. Discuss your opinion.

In the 21st century, technology is becoming more advanced, and more modern

products

are coming to market. With that being said, some regular consumers enjoy purchasing the latest electronic devices, as soon as they get out. While some

people

think

this

is harmless,

this

essay will explore

its

Change the word

the

show examples

detrimental effects of

this

on both society and the

environment

To begin

with,

this

trend will cause all kinds of psychological damage to the brain of

people

. Shopping

addiction

is one of those effects that will influence

people

to buy more-and-more

products

to the point that they can not function properly without constantly buying something.

Furthermore

this

would directly affect society, as more

people

get addicted to shopping. To illustrate, according to new research done by psychologists and psychopathologists, after gambling and drug

addiction

, shopping

addiction

is becoming more common among European

people

. Some

people

might say they only buy a new product only for enjoyment,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

this

is rarely the case.

In addition

this

phenomenon will harm the

environment

by increasing the amount of electronic

waste

in nature. When the public increasingly

buy

Change the verb form

buys

show examples

new tech

products

, they have to throw away the old ones.

Consequently

, the

environment

will become polluted with electronic devices,

thus

damaging the ecosystem by releasing harmful chemicals,

such

as lead and cadmium. The USA,

for example

, is dumping all of

this

waste

into the sea, because they run out of land to bury electronic

waste

Although

some of these devices get recycled, the amount of

waste

is so high that recyclists can not cover all of them. In conclusion, buying

products

for only keeping up with the newest version will not only fill society with

addiction

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

will fill the

environment

with poisonous chemicals.

Submitted by emaddorrani4 on Wed Mar 30 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technology advancements
convenience
efficiency
productivity
status symbol
financial burden
obsession
impulsive
consumerism
sustainability
e-waste
environmentally friendly
second-hand market
repairability
upgradability

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Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones or laptops. Is this a good or bad things. Discuss your opinion.

Your opinion

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development？

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that students should take a gap year after graduating high school to work. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Some people think it is better to give donations to local charitable organizations, while others choose to give to national or international bodies. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.