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Band 6

Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
Happiness in human beings is a part of
life
. Some
believe
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belief
show examples
,
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apply
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 it comes after getting economically
success
, but others say that
,
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apply
show examples
 it can be achieved in different ways. In my opinion, I believe economic
success
as well as other
Add the comma(s)
, as well as other criterias in a person's life,
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criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
 in a person's
life
 bring happiness.
In
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On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, being rich makes anyone
to
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apply
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do anything in
life
.
In other words
, richness brings
joys
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joy
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 by fulfilling every dreams of
life
, whether it is buying luxury homes, land and cars or travelling the world.
Also
,
family
Correct article usage
a family
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 with
strong
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a strong
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 economy has happier
life
 because their children do not have to suffer from
Fix the agreement mistake
anything
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anythings
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 in
life
.
For instance
, many Americans spend more than 80
percent
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per cent
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 of their daily
life
in
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on
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 entertainment, while Africans spend their day
in
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apply
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looking for good food.
This
 is happening, due to
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
success
 achieved by the USA, so they worry less about other basic things.
On the other hand
, there are many people out there, who are unhappy with their
life
 even after being rich and
success
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successful
show examples
. To clarify, not all
persons
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people
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 enjoy joys with
the
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apply
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money
. Some
wants
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want
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 love from their parents, and some
desires
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desire
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 to be in
accompany
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accompanied
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with
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by
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 besties,
however
, to them ,
money
 can only buy physical things.
For example
, in South Korea, a
survery
Correct your spelling
survey
 conducted in 2009 revealed that many kids from rich
family
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families
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 usually have
less
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fewer
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 friends
in
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during
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 their school days than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children from
poor
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the poor
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 or middle
family
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families
show examples
. The reason behind it
,
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apply
show examples
 has been expected to teach
by
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apply
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rich parents to stay from poor friends.
In addition
, children tend to enjoy
a
Correct pronoun usage
themselves a
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lot even when they are unaware about wealthiness of
eachothers
Correct your spelling
each others
each other
. In conclusion, economic
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability
 is important in
life
 to attain desires which could not be possible, if there is no
money
. In the meantime, people have to build
relationship
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relationships
show examples
 other than
money
-oriented business
relationhsip
Correct your spelling
relationship
 to obtain happiness in
life
 that can be fulfilled by
money
.
Submitted by arjunlama798 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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