IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is best to increase the fuel cost to reduce the pollution problems other think otherwise discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #fuel #cost #pollution
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Pollution
 has undoubtedly been one of the major problems that apply to society is currently facing. Because of
this
, the government has created a solution, which is increasing the
price
 of
fuel
 to reduce the
pollution
 problem. Yet, some
people
 believe that it is a horrible idea and stand firm to keep the
price
 as it is today.
Hence
, in
this
 essay, I will discuss both views regarding
this
 issue and present the reason
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why I firmly agree with not bringing the
price
 of
fuel
 up
due to
 some reasons set out below. Gas pollutants have been one of the biggest problems that has been around for many years. The government believes by increasing the
price
 of
fuel
, fewer
people
 will use
fuel
 vehicles and it would solve the
pollution
 problem.
For example
, by increasing the
price
,
people
 will rather switch to an electric-based car. By doing so, the percentage of
fuel
pollution
 will decrease rapidly.
However
, some
people
 tend to believe that by increasing the
fuel
price
, not many
people
 are going to switch to electric cars or bikes.
In contrast
, society will start to suffer more
due to
 the increasing
price
 of
fuel
.
For example
, by increasing the
fuel
price
, more and more
people
 will experience the economy downhill
instead
 of buying electric cars. By doing so, it will result in poverty for more
people
 throughout the middle and lower
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 classes rather than solving the
pollution
 problem.
To conclude
, even though increasing the
fuel
price
to reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 the
pollution
 caused by
fuel
, I stand firm in my decision that the advantages will not outweigh the disadvantages caused by it.
Submitted by kelly on

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Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on the reasons why you agree with not increasing the fuel price. Provide additional arguments and examples to support your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow. For instance, use phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' to introduce contrasting points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop the ideas presented in each paragraph further. This will make your argument more compelling and provide more depth to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a logical structure.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the task requirements.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly indicates the writer's opinion, which is well-articulated and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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