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Band 4.5

Nowadays eating habits of people around the world are changing, causing them many health problems, including obesity. Why do people tend to eat so badly? What can be done to improve their eating habits?

#habits #people #world #health #obesity
The growth of health problems associated with
food
 behaviour disorders continues all over the world. It is estimated by prominent medical scientists that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
 suffering from excessive weight will acquire more than 30% by 2050 in developed countries. I would like to observe some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 issue and probable ways to resolve
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
this
 essay.
Firstly
, as I see it,
rapid
Add an article
the rapid
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 growth world economy and more quick pace of life enhance
people
 to perform all their
acrivities
Correct your spelling
activities
 faster including having a meal. The majority of contemporary
people
is
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are
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 in perpetual harry, and they have to be on
time
, to keep up
for
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with
show examples
 the speed of life in order to rich better results, to earn more money. In the situation of
time
Correct your spelling
deficiency
efficiency
defficiency
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,defficiency
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 an average person cannot afford to spend much
time
 on cooking,
therefore
 he
forced
Add a missing verb
is forced
show examples
 to eat more junk
food
. We
also
 bring up our children in scarcity of
time
 and they, unfortunately, learn our bad habits. Due to
it
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,it
show examples
 we have
particularly
Correct article usage
a particularly
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 sharp growth of obesity
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the youth. In regards
of
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to
show examples
 probable measures in order to find the solution, I would like to say, that the government should pay more attention to the problem of obesity
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 young ageing groups. I would like to mention
such
 events as
virtually
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virtual
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 absence of measures in the area of school
food
supplment
Correct your spelling
supplement
. I mean that in my country fairly attention is not
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
 to
issue
Correct article usage
the issue
show examples
 of school
food
. And because of
this
, dishes at schools are not delicious enough to attract students, but it is cheap for education executives.
Therefore
 young
people
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
tend to fast
food
instead
 of eating healthy dishes. In conclusion,
although
 the issue of incorrect
food
 behaviour is really important, especially for the youth, some measures, concerning school
food
 supply, could be undertaken in order to improve the situation.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • processed food
  • fast food
  • nutritional education
  • calorie-dense
  • nutrient-poor
  • convenience
  • busy lifestyles
  • food deserts
  • marketing and advertising
  • food choices
  • cultural norms
  • food preparation
  • obesity
  • eating habits
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