IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a large city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

#children #countryside #city
There are many more benefits for children to grow up in the surroundings than in a large metropolis. In my opinion, I completely concur with the growing up of offspring in the countryside. It is because of the following two reasons that I feel the way I do; the clean atmosphere, and the less distraction, which I will examine in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, I contend that the biggest advantage of living in the environment is having a very good and clean atmosphere, which is beneficial for healthy living. In large cities, there is a lot of pollution causing many health issues in offspring as well in adults. And for children, it is necessary to have a good environment as they are in their growing age. My own personal experience is a compelling example of
this
. When I was in an institution, I got shifted to a boarding institute for better studies but there I got allergies to pollution leading to coughing very frequently,
hence
 just after a few months I and my family decided to come back to my town, and I completed my academy from there only.
Secondly
, the distraction in a large metropolis is more than in the surroundings. During studies, it is good to have a peaceful environment so heir can focus more on their studies. In large cities, there are a lot of things which attract offspring and they easily spend their precious time on them,
such
 as amusement parks, more games, more options for going out for fun with friends etc.
for instance
, one of my friends
also
 shifted to boarding institution with me, I came back but he did not. And when we chatted, I came to know that on weekends they go out for fun in amusement parks, or watch movies, or for shopping, where every weekend I spend my time on creative activities like learning painting or learning any new sport. I feel I was utilizing my free time on learning something new but because of the effect of large cities, my friend is not. In a nutshell, I am opinion that it is better to grow up in the countryside than in a large metropolis for the offspring.
Submitted by SV on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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