IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write about the following topic: Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community
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In
this
 contemporary world, people are working from dawn to dusk for disposable money;
however
, there are a few who are managing to spare their time for leisure activities as well. In
this
 essay, I will discuss how playing a sport or developing an art skill as a part of
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
show examples
 can be benefitted individually as well as socially in general.
To begin
 with, needless to mention, sports can help humans to remain fit and if anyone is playing any game daily
then
 it will certainly contribute to the fitness regimen of a player.
For example
, if playing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
badminton is a hobby of someone
then
 by playing it daily for an hour, they are not only staying healthy but
also
 motivating their friends to indulge in
such
 type of sports.
Hence
, while others might
also
 get entertainment by opting for
such
 playing activity, eventually a mass of society will be cured
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the obesity issues in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 longer run.
Furthermore
, art can be an interesting hobby for anyone. Many are talented in painting or music and they have started exploring these hobbies post-working hours which has benefitted them personally as well as professionally. To illustrate, if any employee is playing the guitar,
then
 they might get a chance to perform during an annual event organised by the company which can aid in their career.
This
 type of event can be fun for their friends too.
Thus
, arts can be helpful in co-curricular activities too. To conclude, in these busy days, it is very important for everyone to spend their time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their hobbies. Some activities of interest bring happiness
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 one's life and assist
them
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
 to become an active person.
This
 way they can be helpful to themselves as well as to the community.
Submitted by hvyas on

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