IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
In today's world, there is a debate on the rise on whether money buys happiness or there are other factors too behind it. Undoubtedly, the economy plays a huge role in a person's growth
however
 factors like simplicity and gratitude
also
 contribute to a jolly existence. I, in
this
 essay, will shed some light on both aspects before reaching a logical conclusion. On one hand, economic growth is of paramount importance as it is proportional to happiness.
Moreover
, financial independence is a must and from a female's perspective, it is indispensable. To give a clear example, if at all there is a rift between a couple, and they choose to part ways, a financially independent woman would cope better than a dependent lady.
Furthermore
, to afford a living for your family monetary success can't be ignored. Due to the same reason, a human can avail various facilities like better health care, education, food and beauty products. On the flip side, happiness is contingent upon an array of factors and the most common being an internal dialogue with oneself. If an individual doesn't consider being worthy of joy,
then
 no amount of wealth can buy him that feeling. To exemplify, Deepika Padukone who is India's most popular and quite cherished actress underwent depression.
Additionally
, she is among the 1% of the rich Indian population
nonetheless
, she was gripped by sadness. On top of that, a basic amount of gratitude and simplicity in life can guide towards contentment.To illustrate, there is a Youtube channel called Gareeb Eater where the host demonstrates satisfaction even while dealing with a hand to mouth situation.
Hence
, proving in a way that being happy is a journey inside-out.   In conclusion, I opine that one has to strike a balance between finances and other causes bringing bliss. These are like two separate gardens, one being tangible and the other intangible. Not only being wealthy is imperative but
also
 being mentally sane. Because a healthy mind is essentially the key to a content life.
Submitted by gritteam00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: