Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #people’s #interest

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At present, many youngsters are attracted to international modern

cultures

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and they like well-known

people

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more than historical figures in their countries. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will elaborate on the reasons for

such

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phenomenon and suggest some possible solutions to encourage individuals to concern more on important ancestries in the past.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the main trigger why young

people

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nowadays are interested in

oversea

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overseas

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entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

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movements more than their local historical events is that they are likely to gravitate towards individuals they resonate with. In another word, compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

domestic history, kids or young

people

Use synonyms

prefer to get access to the latest

cultures

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. For those

people

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instead

Linking Words

of understanding some boring events in the past, they are more likely to pursue attractive

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

such

Linking Words

as pop music or entertaining movie.

Therefore

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, they are likely to ignore the famous

people

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in their history.

Moreover

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, another cause would be the rapid development of

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

and social media, which mislead

people

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to focus on more entertaining

contents

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content

show examples

rather than explore the historical meaning.

Nevertheless

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, even though

people

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are getting involved in

such

Linking Words

phenomenon

Correct article usage

a phenomenon

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, schools and governments can play roles to resolve

this

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issue.

Change preposition

show examples

a school level, we should instil children to watch historical documentary series from elementary school age. In

this

Linking Words

way, children might be initiative to search for their own history and the ancients,

thus

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they will have

storing

Change the verb form

to store

show examples

linkhood

Correct your spelling

link hood

pink hood

. Meanwhile, it

also

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reminds schools to reinforce the historical classes.

Besides

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for

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apply

show examples

local governments, they can carry out campaigns or lessons in communities and

Internet

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the Internet

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, in order to appeal

the

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to the

show examples

mass to know more about

the

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apply

show examples

domestic historical movements. In

this

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way,

people

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may pay more attention

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show examples

domestic

cultures

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rather than international pop

cultures

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. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there is a tendency to pursue international celebrities rather than figures from their country’s past, it can be resolved via the improvement and collaboration

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and governments.

Submitted by Esther on Thu Mar 31 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pervasive
Globalized media
Social media platforms
Contemporary culture
Glamorous
Educational curriculum
Multimedia resources
National pride
Exhibitions
Engaging storytelling
Interactive apps
Historical figures
Narratives
Celebrations
Underemphasizing

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Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Some think that the best way to stay fit is to join gym. while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You are bothered by the amount of trash in your local park.Write a letter to the head of the city park department .In your letter: • Describe the problem with the trash • Explain why it is a problem • Say what you think the city should do.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?