Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #people’s #interest

At present, many youngsters are attracted to international modern

cultures

and they like well-known

people

more than historical figures in their countries. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on the reasons for

such

phenomenon and suggest some possible solutions to encourage individuals to concern more on important ancestries in the past.

To begin

with, the main trigger why young

people

nowadays are interested in

oversea

Correct your spelling

overseas

show examples

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

movements more than their local historical events is that they are likely to gravitate towards individuals they resonate with. In another word, compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

domestic history, kids or young

people

prefer to get access to the latest

cultures

. For those

people

instead

of understanding some boring events in the past, they are more likely to pursue attractive

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

such

as pop music or entertaining movie.

Therefore

, they are likely to ignore the famous

people

in their history.

Moreover

, another cause would be the rapid development of

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

and social media, which mislead

people

to focus on more entertaining

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

rather than explore the historical meaning.

Nevertheless

, even though

people

are getting involved in

such

phenomenon

Correct article usage

a phenomenon

show examples

, schools and governments can play roles to resolve

this

issue.

Change preposition

show examples

a school level, we should instil children to watch historical documentary series from elementary school age. In

this

way, children might be initiative to search for their own history and the ancients,

thus

they will have

storing

Change the verb form

to store

show examples

linkhood

Correct your spelling

link hood

pink hood

. Meanwhile, it

also

reminds schools to reinforce the historical classes.

Besides

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

local governments, they can carry out campaigns or lessons in communities and

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

, in order to appeal

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

mass to know more about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

domestic historical movements. In

this

way,

people

may pay more attention

Change the preposition

show examples

domestic

cultures

rather than international pop

cultures

. In conclusion,

although

there is a tendency to pursue international celebrities rather than figures from their country’s past, it can be resolved via the improvement and collaboration

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and governments.

Submitted by Esther on Thu Mar 31 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pervasive
Globalized media
Social media platforms
Contemporary culture
Glamorous
Educational curriculum
Multimedia resources
National pride
Exhibitions
Engaging storytelling
Interactive apps
Historical figures
Narratives
Celebrations
Underemphasizing

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Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The planet's population is reaching unsustainable levels, and people are facing shortage of resources like water, food and fuel. To what consequences may overpopulation lead? In your opinion, what measures can be taken to fight overpopulation?

Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that visiting museums is the best way for children to learn history, while many others think there are several better ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?