Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behavior. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior

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Nowadays tv plays a major role in our life. It is considered by some people that types of a program can
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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effect
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.While others believe that amount of
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

plays more role in their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.Before arriving at my position both the sides of
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument

It seems that arguments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will be analyzed
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with,why the
childern
Correct your spelling
children

If you don’t want childern to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

get attracted by
charecters
Correct your spelling
characters

If you don’t want charecters to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.To answer it,
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
unmature
Correct your spelling
unmatured

If you don’t want unmature to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

they do not know what is real and what it reel.They think everything is
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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real
Replace the word
reality

The word real doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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which they watch on the tv.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,The
survay
Correct your spelling
survey

If you don’t want survay to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

revealed by America that after watching Harry porter every
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

kids
Change to a singular noun
kid

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun kids. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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get attached
by
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

movie like eating
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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foods, wearing
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes

The word cloths doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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as well as
dilogues
Correct your spelling
dialogues
dialogue

If you don’t want dilogues to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.Another one is, if
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils

It seems that pupil may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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watch
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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thriller
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films

It seems that film may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on a daily, it can
Correct your spelling
affect
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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daily life.Regarding
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Regarding this. Consider adding a comma.

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they can get more aggressive and rude with the
famliy
Correct your spelling
family

If you don’t want famliy to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

along with friends .
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the data was
cocluded
Correct your spelling
concluded

If you don’t want cocluded to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by London that 70% of
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are aggressive in recent
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because of
thriller
Add an article
a thriller

The noun phrase thriller film seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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film
Fix the agreement mistake
films

It seems that film may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,some think a
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can influence them.It can be affected them
due to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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if they watch
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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tv
unlimited
Correct article usage
an unlimited

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it can harm their brain as well as
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun health in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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mental health.To explain it, the
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

watch the
televison
Correct your spelling
television

If you don’t want televison to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for 5 hours without rest they will lost in the reel world they think they are in
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie

The noun phrase movie seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Also
Add a comma
,Also

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Also. Consider adding a comma.

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it can damage their eyes and heart they will not talk in
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper

The noun phrase proper way seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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way.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
cambridge
Change the capitalization
Cambridge

It appears that the word cambridge may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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university has found that if children see television
more
Change preposition
for more

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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than five
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours

The singular noun hour follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

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, will not behave like
normal
Add an article
a normal

The noun phrase normal person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people

It seems that person may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In conclusion, it is true that
number
Change the article
a number
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Add an article
the time
a time

The noun phrase time period seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods

It seems that period may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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can damage
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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children in
many
Correct your spelling
any

The word many doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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way
Change to a plural noun
ways

The singular countable noun way follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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.I believe that
the
Correct your spelling
these

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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types of programs are more dangerous for them.these
sireas
Correct your spelling
series
sites

If you don’t want sireas to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or movies can make aggressive and rude them in normal life.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • content quality
  • social skills
  • behavioral impact
  • role models
  • parental guidance
  • screen time
  • educational programs
  • observational learning
  • antisocial behavior
  • moral values
  • imitation
  • physical health
  • social interaction
  • academic performance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: