IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Paying for things using mobile apps is becoming more and more common in many countries. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#apps #countries #development
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Nowadays,mobile pay is becoming more popular in the world.In my opinion,I believe using mobile
apps
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 to pay has more benefits.
Firstly
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,mobile pay is more convenient than paying by cash.Take travel as an example,when we travel somewhere but do not use the same currency,we need to change the
money
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 if we use cash.
However
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,it doesn't matter when we pay by mobile bank
apps
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.The mobile bank
apps
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 will convert exchange rates automatically.At historical attractions,we can pay online for tickets and don't need to queue up to save a lot of time.
For example
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, according to a recent survey, 60% of individuals who installed and relied on payment
apps
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 answered that automatic records for the movement of
money
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 on the
apps
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 were useful for the management of their total
money
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. If mobile
apps
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 for payment were not invented, people worldwide would not be able to manage their
money
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 as easily as in the contemporary world.
Secondly
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,mobile pay can reduce the risk of losing
money
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 it is safer.Cause we don't need to have much cash when we go out. It can be recognized as a negative shift in view of involving people in a crime. There is a high possibility for the crowd to be exposed to privacy invasions through registered personal information on the payment
apps
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. To illustrate
this
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, the public organization showed that 90% of users of
such
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apps
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 have a possibility to be theft information from bank accounts without applying a specific soft for protecting the information on their devices. If a greater number of people take the opportunity to pay in mobile
apps
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, the figure for the crime recognized as privacy theft will increase significantly. In conclusion,in terms of convenience ,pay by mobile
apps
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 is satisfactory.It is hard to imagine what our life would be like without mobile
apps
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 in modern society.
Submitted by liyacindyzhang on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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