Some people believe that children who commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People’s opinions differ as to whether or not
parents
should be given punishment in cases where their children
commit crimes. While
there are a few arguments supporting the view that penalties for parents
are necessary, I still believe that punishing children
themselves and rehabilitating them is a more effective way.
There are several reasons why some individuals might argue that parents
are always responsible for children
’s criminal activities. First and foremost, parents
play a crucial role in shaping their children
’s behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
In other words
, if a child commits a crime, it may reflect a failure in parental guidance and supervision. Secondly
, many crimes committed by children
stem from environmental factors such
as poverty, neglect, or abuse, which would mean that holding parents
accountable may encourage a focus on addressing these root causes rather than just penalizing the child.
In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that punishing children
for breaking the rules can be effective. Firstly
, children
should be held accountable for their actions. To be specific, this
perspective emphasizes that even young individuals are capable of understanding right from wrong and should face consequences for their behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
In addition
to this
, the justice system can provide opportunities for rehabilitation, meaning that by addressing the behavior
directly, Change the spelling
behaviour
children
can receive the help they need to reform and reintegrate into society. Therefore
, it is important to give punishments to children
for their own criminal attitudes.
In conclusion, although
there could be two main factors contributing to why many people think that parents
should be responsible even if their children
commit a crime, I believe that children
should be punished in this
case for many reasons.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs, but you could enhance coherence by using more varied transition words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop the conclusion further by summarizing both views more precisely before giving your final opinion. This can make your essay more balanced and comprehensive.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear introductions, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your language is clear and precise, which helps convey your ideas effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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