Some say that young people should take a break between school and university to go travelling and learn more about the world. Others say that it is better for them to go straight to university from school, and then go travelling when they have finished their studies. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In recent years it is becoming more popular among young
people
to take a gap year
between school and university
instead
of going straight to university
until the end of studies. During this
gap year
, people
can go travelling, learn about the world
around them and decide which role in this
world
they would like to take.
On the one hand, there is
a number of advantages and opportunities to taking a break between studies. First of all, the ability to travel is a great opportunity for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
in their youth. Obviously, people
can’t stay in luxury hotels, eat in expensive restaurants and use high-quality services when they are only 18 years old, however
, they can see the world
around them with enormous amazing places with breathtaking views that everyone has to visit one day in their life, make connections with people
from different nations and learn their cultures. Moreover
, during this
period of time
Add a comma
time,
people
will have a chance to learn more about themselves and their place in this
world
. For instance
, some people
can find out that they are into helping others and decide to become a doctor or join some volunteer organisations in the future.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks. Firstly
, this
year
of freedom can distract a young person so much that they will lose their urge to go to university
at all. Nonetheless
, I believe that being educated is very important for everyone in the modern world
and this
decision could be a vital mistake. In addition
, I suppose that in many families parents will argue the decision to take a gap year
and most likely won’t support it. For example
, it is more adequate to save money for future studies than to spend it on travelling around the world
for the whole year
.
In conclusion, there is
a number of Correct subject-verb agreement
are
both
advantages and disadvantages to taking a break between school and Correct pronoun usage
apply
university
. Nevertheless
, I believe that despite the drawbacks it is a great chance to learn more about the world
and yourself, and if I had this
chance in my youth I would definitely take it.Submitted by peltorator on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-organized, ensure that all your main points are equally supported with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argumentation and make your points clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, try to ensure that the conclusion restates your main argument more explicitly to reinforce your stance.
task achievement
In task response, providing a bit more detailed examples for both views can enhance your argument. For instance, detailed cases or statistics that support each perspective could provide a stronger base for your arguments.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both viewpoints and provide your opinion clearly, which is key for achieving a high score in task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas are smooth, which enhances the readability and coherence of your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?