IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter - tell your friend about the job and what sort of work it involves - say why you think the job would be suitable for him/her - explain how to apply for the job

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Dear Ama, I am writing to inform you about a skincare formulator job offer at Surfline company heard of a few days ago. The appointment is about helping clients know their skin type,assisting in the formulations of various
skincare
Correct your spelling
skin care

The word skincare doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 products and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 sorting out and researching new skincare products.With reference to the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
letter I believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 appointment will the suitable for you since you studied skin science in your undergraduate programme not long ago ,In ,addition
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 appointment doesn't require any experience,they only need fresh graduates. In order to apply, send a copy of your CV and cover letter to recruitment@surflinecompany.com ,Don't forget to reference your document too. I wish you all the best. With love, Kiki

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reputation
  • industry
  • duties and responsibilities
  • typical day
  • skills and experiences
  • job requirements
  • company culture
  • personality
  • work ethic
  • application process
  • job listing
  • submit an application
  • documents required
  • tailored resume
  • cover letter
  • relevant experiences
  • reviewing documents
  • practicing for interviews
  • promptly
  • deadlines
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