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Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people believe that government are spending more moneyon wild life.this money should be used for other works.To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #government #moneyon #life #money #works
In any
country
annualy
Correct your spelling
annually
annual
 budgets are decided that on which sector how much money should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
show examples
?
this
 will enable to regulate
economy
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the economy
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 and alleviate developing towards
developed
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a developed
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country
.Some
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals believe that Local Authorities should allocate budget
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other sectors rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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.I partially agree with the fact that finances should be allocated in
such
manner
Correct article usage
a manner
show examples
 that every region gets enough amount to
fullfill
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fulfil
 needs
,
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apply
show examples
and to get upgradation which will ultimately boost
economy
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the economy
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.
Moreover
,a sufficient amount of funding must be provided for
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wildlife
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wild life
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wildlife
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 animals for building
proper
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a proper
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 environment according to the habitat of
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the animal
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animal
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animals
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.
This
 could become a source of tourist attraction.
On the other
Hand
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hand
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,animals and nature are
Add an article
a source
the source
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source
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sources
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 of beautification
of
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in
show examples
 the region.
For instance
,In China,appropriate places are
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 according to the habitat of Panda.People from all around the world visit
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 to see them
,
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apply
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and have quality time,even schools arrange visits to the zoo for better learning of a child. In any
nation
along-with
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along with
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tourism
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,tourism
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 it is
neccessary
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necessary
 to invest in
such
 sectors that are good for
nation
's growth.
For instance
, funding for education and hospitals should be sufficient;
Therefore
,
overall
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the overall
an overall
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 growth of
nation
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the nation
show examples
 can be possible,
this
 could be done by providing free of cost treatments for local people or putting
less
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fewer
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 charges on surgeries and other medical facilities.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
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 when
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 becomes healthy they could be able to work on their skills and provide services.
Additionally
,funding for public educational sectors is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 which could be a cause to increase
literacy
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the literacy
show examples
 rate of the
country
.
For instance
,In Canada Education is made free till high school level,due to which parents are not
burdenised
Correct your spelling
burdened
 for spending lots of money on the education of their children due to which their literacy rate is on
higher
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a higher
show examples
 level,Same as medical facilities are made easily available for their local residents. I would conclude here by saying that in any
nation
budgetting
Correct your spelling
budgeting
 should be done under vigilant officials who allocate funds according to the need and
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
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 of a region
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 ultimate purpose is to make
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 prosperous and economically strong.
Submitted by Alvina Muqeet on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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