Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #health #service #treatments

this

contemporary world, people are working from dawn to dusk for disposable money;

nevertheless

, there are a few who are managing to spare their time for leisure activities as well. In

this

essay, I will discuss how playing sports or developing an art skill as a part of a hobby can be

benefitted

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

individually

as well as

socially in general.

To begin

with, needless to mention, sports can help humans to remain fit and if anyone is playing daily

then

it will certainly contribute to the fitness regimen of a player.

For example

, if playing badminton is a hobby of someone

then

by playing it daily for an hour, they are not only staying healthy but

also

motivating their friends to indulge in

such

types of sports.

Hence

while

players get entertainment by playing games, eventually a mass of society will be cured of the obesity issue in the longer run.

Furthermore

, art can be an interesting hobby for someone. Many are talented in painting or music and they have started exploring these hobbies post-working hours which has benefitted them personally

as well as

professionally. To illustrate, if any employee is playing the guitar,

then

they might get a chance to perform during an annual event organised by the company which can aid in their career.

This

type of event can be fun for their friends too.

Thus

, arts can be helpful in co-curricular activities as well.

To conclude

, in these busy days, it is very important for everyone to spend their time on their hobbies. Some activities of interest bring happiness to one's life and assist one to become an active person.

This

way they can be helpful to themselves

as well as

to the community.

Submitted by hvyas on Fri Apr 01 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the topic adequately but lacks depth in the discussion. It would benefit from more detailed explanations and examples to support the points made.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs lack a clear structure and connection between ideas. Consider organizing the essay into distinct paragraphs with topic sentences to improve coherence.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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