ome people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#ome #people #advertisements #products #lives

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Advertisement is one of the marketing strategies.

According to

Linking Words

some groups, it forces people to purchase the things that they do not exactly want,

while

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others have a different opinion

than

Correct word choice

that

show examples

the advertisements help to provide new updates which grateful for society. I personally agree with both views. Many consider advertising

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a waste of money by shopping for unnecessary stuff. First of all, some can be encouraged by seeing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

attractive ads about the products if they have the same product with them.

For instance

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, one of my friends bought a new watch recently after watching a new brand advertisement on the TV ,even if he has another watch. Another reason is that the public can be motivated by any

favourate

Correct your spelling

favourite

actor in a particular ad.Utmost, these tendencies would

be ended

Wrong verb form

end

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up in losing wealth unwantedly.

On the other hand

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, advertisements improve the

communitie 's

Correct your spelling

communities

community's

life. To explain in detail, individuals get some new ideas of upgraded

version

Fix the agreement mistake

versions

show examples

of the brand which aid

to increase

Change preposition

in increasing

show examples

their social status.

For instance

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, most people would like to live with updated content

such

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as electronic devices, gadgets etc. Apart from that, some populations may like to follow the use and throw methods,

therefore

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they may look forward to marketing values.

To conclude

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, buying something unnecessarily only the power of advertising products cannot be a good habit to some extent,

also

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, it gives more information about newly updated products that certainly improve people's life.

Submitted by sheebacorreya307 on Fri Apr 01 2022

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task response

The essay addresses both viewpoints but lacks depth in analyzing each one. Work on providing a more balanced and in-depth exploration of the two perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, with some points being well-supported. However, there is room for improvement in organizing the ideas and providing a more coherent progression of arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

240 words

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ome people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

The number of plants and animals is declining. Describe the reason and suggest some solution.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.