IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern lifestyle are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think changes have been positive, while other believe they have been negative. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Humans have experienced a tremendous change in their way of life over the past few decades.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that these changes are positive, others opine that these modifications have a negative impact.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views in detail before reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a conclusion. Technological advancements have made living very easy. The day-to-day work of an individual is dependent on one or another technology. Unlike in older days, nowadays people don't have to work too hard for any household chores.
For example
Linking Words
, boiling milk or making instant food was difficult in the olden days
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 considered
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
show examples
tasks
Fix the agreement mistake
task
show examples
 owing to the invention of electric induction and microwave
oven
Fix the agreement mistake
ovens
show examples
. Because of these developments in tech, the way everybody lives in modern society has changed drastically
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in a good way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lifestyle of our grandparents was burdensome. All the activities in those days involved lots of physical labour and patience
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 the absence of technology coerced them to work manually.
For instance
Linking Words
, to cook daily food, they had to walk miles to first collect the
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 used to light
fire
Correct article usage
a fire
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
 the temperature of the fire was
controlled-a
Use the right word
controlled
show examples
 very exasperating job, to cook food properly.
Thus
Linking Words
, dwelling in past was troublesome compared to the lives
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 in the contemporary world. In conclusion, the lifestyle in the modern world is totally different compared to living in the older times
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 my opinion, these upgradations have made the world a better place to live in recent years
owing
Punctuation problem
, owing
show examples
 to the various innovations and their application in
routine
Correct article usage
the routine
show examples
 existence of individuals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Watch grammar and sentence form. Some phrases are not clear or have mistakes.
cohesion
Add more strong detail and proof to main ideas and use clear links between points.
task response
State your view clearly at the end and tie it to the opening idea.
task response
You show two sides and add your own view.
examples
You use real life examples from tech and life to show ideas.
cohesion
Linking words like On the other hand and In conclusion help flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: