Watching too much television reduces people’s capacity to think for themselves. To what extent do you agree with this point of view?

Nowadays,
Television
is the main source of entertainment. And
people
watch
TV
for server programs. I agree with
this
statement that watching
television
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
so many positive ideas
as well as
created some drawbacks that affect
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. my essay will examine
this
point in my upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, humans are watching
television
to reduce their tension and feel better but after watching too much
TV
they feel stressed.
In addition
, using the
TV
for a long time,
people
cannot concentrate properly on one thing. if they are doing something
then
after sometimes they feel
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
.
Moreover
, They did not think for themselves.
For example
, he or she did a project and did not think about themselves because of watching too much
TV
.
As a result
, they complete their project with the help of the internet.
Secondly
,
This
would lead to creating mental problems
such
as memory
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreasing by 4 to 5 per cent and brain atrophy.
However
. At present days, Nations like to learn from online sources like
television
,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and so on. We can see that so many
educations related
Correct your spelling
education-related
show examples
,
Science related
Correct your spelling
science-related
show examples
shows
on
Add a missing verb
are on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
.
Consequently
, By watching that kind of show on
TV
,
people
get knowledge about that topic and it is helpful in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Furthermore
, Humans who watch
TV
after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work or study, feel relaxed or sometimes
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sit with their family and enjoy watching entertaining programs on
TV
. In conclusion, I believe that,
Due to
watching
TV
people
gain so much knowledge.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, watching too much
television
declines
people
's thinking ability.
Submitted by Drashti satani on

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task response
Address the prompt more directly and consistently throughout the essay. Make sure all points are relevant to the topic and provide a clear position on the statement.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by including a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate back to the main thesis.
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