IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #health #service #treatments
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HEALTH
 SERVICE IS ONE OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE FIELDS. IN RECENT YEARS, SOME
PEOPLE
 DEFEND THAT
HEALTH
 CARE PROCESSES SHOULD BE UNPAID AND COVERED BY GOVERNMENTS EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT THE LATEST TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICES CAN NOT BE AFFORDED SO, AS A CONSEQUENCE, USED. I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH
THIS
 STATEMENT AND
THIS
 ESSAY WILL EXPLAIN WHY MAINTENANCE OF
HEALTH
 SHOULD BE PAID FOR BY PATIENTS.
FIRSTLY
, IT HAS BEEN KNOWN THAT INSTRUMENTS AND DEVICES USED FOR MEDICAL TREATMENTS ARE EXPENSIVE AND BECAUSE MOST OF THE DISEASES ARE PREVENTABLE,
PEOPLE
 SHOULD PAY FOR THE TREATMENTS. TO EXPAND, THE ROOTS OF
HEALTH
 PROBLEMS ARE GENERALLY AN UNHEALTHY DIET OR SEDENTARY LIFE.
PEOPLE
 CAN PREVENT THEMSELVES FROM SERIOUS ILLNESSES BY BEING CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT THEY EAT, AND HOW MUCH TIME THEY SPENT ON PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES. BECAUSE OF LAZY
PEOPLE
, THE OTHERS SHOULDN’T BE DEPRIVED OF TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENTS.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, BECAUSE OF
PEOPLE
 DO NOT ATTENTION TO THEIR
HEALTH
, COLLECTED TAXES SHOULD NOT BE PAID TO
HEALTH
INSTEAD
 OF EDUCATION OR TRANSPORTATION SYSTEMS THAT INNOCENT AND CAREFUL
PEOPLE
 DESERVE. TO ILLUSTRATE, ACCORDING TO WHO, TOOTH DECAY IS THE MOST SPREAD DISEASE IN WHOLE WORLD,
FURTHERMORE
 THE SOLUTION TO
THIS
 IS THE SIMPLEST ONE WHICH IS TOOTHBRUSH. SO IF THE
HEALTH
 SECTOR ARE PAID INDIVIDUALLY, TAXES CAN BE INVESTED IN EDUCATION OR INFRASTRUCTURE
INSTEAD
 OF TOOTH FILLING. TO SUM UP, IN MY OPINION, MEDICAL TREATMENTS COVERED BY GOVERNMENTS ARE AN UNFAIR ATTITUDE TOWARD
PEOPLE
 CARING FOR THEMSELVES.
PEOPLE
 PROTECTING THEMSELVES FROM DETRIMENTAL BEHAVIOURS DESERVE THERAPY WITH MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICES IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY.
Submitted by dt.essrademir on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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