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Band 5.5

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunise #children #individuals #right #support #arguments #evidence
It is weened by many
people
 that there should be a
law
 regarding immunise
children
 by their
parents
 whereas others believe that it should be a choice of
parents
 to do so. I vehemently espouse that immunising
children
 should be legally bound on their
parents
 as
vaccination
 is nowhere harmful to their
children
instead
 it can increase the immune system in their
children
. As these viewpoints require prudent elaboration, let us delve deeper into them with the pertinent examples along with my own opinion in the impending paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are numerous reasons why many individuals are in favour of
law
 regarding the
vaccination
 of offspring by their
parents
 which can be undermined.
First
 and foremost, as much as
children
 are porn to many
ailments
, a
law
 regarding
vaccination
 of
children
 by their
parents
 can save them perilous
ailments
 timely. To elucidate, when
children
 are
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
early age, they may be more prone to various
ailments
 so a legal duty of their
parents
 to vaccinate the
on-time
Correct your spelling
on time
show examples
 could work
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 a remedy for harmful
ailments
.
As a result
, not only does a
law
 ensure the duty of
parents
 to make safe
children
 from specific
ailments
, but
also
 in many nations a child card is now being legally introduced to ensure the
vaccination
 of
children
 from various diseases like black cough and fever so there would be no fear of these issue on
children
. To cite an example,
Ms.
Change the punctuation
Ms
show examples
 Katharine Viner, the editor in chief of The Guardian newspaper in her editorial 'Pragmatic
effects
 a
law
 regarding
vaccination
 of
children
 in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
2015 clearly unveiled that many countries had imposed a
law
 on
parents
 to make their
children
 timely vaccinated since these nations observed a considerable decrease in the cases like polio
post
Add a hyphen
post-vaccination
show examples
vaccination
.
On the contrary
, a large number of
people
 are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the notion that the
vaccination
 of
children
 should be a choice of
parents
 because there are multifarious reasons behind
this
. Primarily, where
parents
 have a lot of concern about the side
effects
 of vaccines on their
children
's health, it may be better to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 a decision about the
vaccination
 of their
children
. To clarify, whenever there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confusion among
parents
 about the side
effects
 of
vaccination
,
parents
 may not be ready to get their
children
 vaccinated and some
parents
 sometimes have no extra funds for
such
vaccination
. As a consequence,
parents
 may have a right to get their
children
 according to their income as well as there should be no
law
 that forced them against their trust in the effectiveness of
vaccination
.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted by Oxford University in the UK, on a group of 1500
parents
 ranging from 20 to 45 years old in May
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2016 manifestly unveiled that 75% of them were keenly interested
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 knowing the side
effects
 of the
vaccination
 so that they were able to ensure the good health of their
children
 on the utmost priority. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that as
vaccination
 is important to save
children
 from many
ailments
 so an increasing number of
people
 are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of a
law
 to ensure
vaccination
 by
parents
 while some
people
 opine that it should be totally a decision of
parents
. I strongly assert that immunization from diseases through
vaccination
 should be followed by
law
 by
parents
 since it can ensure the safety of their
childrens'
Correct your spelling
children's
show examples
 health by enhancing the immune system.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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