In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city & stay in hostels away from their family. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city #hostels

In some countries,

students

living with their parents

while

pursuing their education are common.

Whereas

, in other nations, the

students

are expected to live far away from their hometown or even move abroad for higher education. I believe, that the

students

moving away from the city have more advantages than disadvantages.

This

essay will discuss in depth both perspectives.

To begin

with, the main advantage of

students

migrating to another city or country will enormously have a positive impact on their individual growth,

as well as

allow them to be independent. Being on their own, will teach them different aspects of life and

also

train them to be disciplined and develop personal skills as well.

For example

, paying bills, maintaining accounts for daily expenses, and saving money for future purposes have to be faced by themselves. It will

also

increase their bonding with their families.

Moreover

, moving away from their house would allow the teenagers to focus on academics and concentrate more on the university to a full extent.

On the other hand

, there are a few disadvantages.

Students

will experience loneliness and homesickness when moving to a new place.

Furthermore

, it will be difficult for them to manage things on their own without any help from the elders

however

, they will eventually surpass those situations. With the digital era and modern technology, it will be easier for pupils to stay in touch with their families and close relatives.

To conclude

students

migrating from their hometown has huge benefits in terms of education, personal growth, nurturing discipline and

also

allows them to be self-supporting.

Submitted by divyasp0803 on Tue Apr 23 2024

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specific examples

Consider adding more specific examples to further illustrate your points and enhance the persuasive impact of your essay.

development

Try to develop your arguments further to enhance completeness. For instance, delve deeper into how living away from home contributes to personal growth or academic focus.

linking words

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make transitions between ideas smoother.

introduction conclusion

Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, showcasing a strong structure.

understanding

You've demonstrated a good understanding of the essay topic by examining both the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university.

use of examples

Your use of examples, while they could be more detailed, helps to support your arguments and provide clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city & stay in hostels away from their family. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that should focus on subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest discuss both side and give your opinion.

some children spend hours every on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Task 2 ; --- Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?