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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #attention
Hey, Guzal, you missed a snowflake!’ said my friend, who had already caught 5 of them. The nurse called us and we returned to the kindergarten to have an ecology talk where we were told about the problem of the Aral
sea
Change the capitalization
Sea
show examples
 for the
first
 time. Being
Correct your spelling
emotional
overemotional
ovemotional
Correct article usage
an ovemotional
show examples
 child, I persuaded my groupmates to collectively take buckets with water and travel to the
sea
 to fill it up.
This
 was the time when I started to combat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change and its consequences. I am 16, do not catch snowflakes because
snow
Add an article
the snow
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 has become a rare occasion and the
Sea
 now is just a mixture of sand and salt.
However
, I still value the importance of teamwork.
That is
 why I founded the project aimed to raise awareness about climate change among primary and secondary school students and
that is
 why I participate in weekly ‘
hashars
Correct your spelling
hashers
hashes
’ to gather the rubbish and recycle it afterwards. It is not enough though.
In
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At
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 the
conference
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,conference
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 I look forward to
find
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finding
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 like-minded people and
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussing
show examples
 some ideas about the problem of climate change and how
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can be tackled.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 I am concerned about the rivers all over Asia that may disappear
as
Change preposition
like
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 the Aral
sea
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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