IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now "one big traffic jam". How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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It is widely known that more and more
cars
 have been sold since the 1990s,
thus
 increasing the amount of traffic in many cities, up to the point that it can take ages to come home after a long day at work. It is
also
 worth considering that
this
 phenomenon has contributed to the dramatic rise in carbon emissions, damaging the environment. But what can governments do to change
this
 trend? First of all, in order to encourage people not to drive their
cars
 when it is not necessary, it is fundamental to enhance public
transport
. Trains and buses should indeed be more frequent and punctual and cover as many city areas as possible.
Moreover
, with more and more people working shifts past midnight, it would be advisable for public means of
transport
 to
also
 function late at night.
This
 would
also
 appeal to younger citizens, who usually go out at the weekends and might face many difficulties if they wanted to go back home without having to use their
cars
.
Additionally
, economic factors should not be underestimated either. The price of petrol has increased significantly since the breaking out of the war in Russia and Israel, up to 50%.
However
,
cars
 are still the most convenient means of
transport
,
due to
 the high costs that bus and train tickets have.
Consequently
, making public
transport
 cheaper may encourage people, especially daily commuters, to prefer it over their
cars
.
Furthermore
, studies have shown that limiting access to city centres only to bikes and pedestrians may contribute to reducing traffic.
For instance
, Rome recently introduced the so-called ZTL around the Colosseum area.
To sum up
,
although
 it is acceptable to think
otherwise
, in my view, it cannot be denied that traffic jams have become a significant problem for cities to face and governments should take action with the aim of limiting it.
Submitted by camilla.balzarotti02 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
Provide a wider range of specific examples or case studies to support your points more convincingly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task comprehensively, discussing both the current issue and potential government measures.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure is logical, with clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and relevant, making the argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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