IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Computers are been used more and more in education.Some people say that this is a positive trend,While others argue it is leading negative consequences. Discuss both sides f the argument and then give your own opinion

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #f #argument
Due to science and
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 there was invent of
Computer
Correct article usage
the Computer
show examples
 which has
help
Change the form of the verb
helped
show examples
 not only
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 group of people but
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 at large.CPU
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used at every stage of education right from taking admission
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the end. On
one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 common men think it
assist
Change the verb form
assists
show examples
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
 in the institution at each
steps
Change to a singular noun
step
show examples
however
other
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
hand some
Correct your spelling
handsome
show examples
 human being
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
pessimist
Correct article usage
a pessimist
show examples
 perspective towards it.
Major
Add an article
A major
show examples
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 of teaching
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used by the student for the purpose of schooling.
Firstly
, when
computers
are utilise
Change the verb form
are utilised
show examples
 for gaining knowledge
this
 has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
 impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Trees are not chopped off because most of the papers are used for making books for
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Secondly
,Due to
develpoment
Correct your spelling
development
 in each and every field around the world
computers
 make them easy to understand
adn
Correct your spelling
and
 access. Eventually, Laptops are easy to use
also
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 come under
one
 roof and
one
 can
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
 information easily
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
manking
Correct your spelling
making
mankind
 will take more time to do the same work.
On the other hand
, using
computers
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 longer period
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humankind
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
inferior
Add an article
an inferior
show examples
 effect on eyesight. That again will cost the doctor expenses. Regular
inulgence
Correct your spelling
indulgence
 in
computers
 may result in
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
addiction and
also
 disturb the mental health of the person. Due to tremendous operation done by the desktop,there is
resk
Correct your spelling
risk
 of
unemplyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 around the globe.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
, from my point of view,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think there is
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
 rather than
disadvantage
Add an article
a disadvantage
show examples
.
Submitted by ankita.kanojia1988 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: