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Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more children are accessing the internet unsupervised at a younger age. This can sometimes put children at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children and how can that problem be solved?

#children #internet #age #risk #parents #face
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It is a major concern for a family’s activities when contacted by a child, and it can be resolved with various precautions.
This
 essay will outline the reasons why family activities are occurring, and explore some potential solutions to
this
 issue. The main issue is the usage of the internet by little ones at various sites
access
 without any restriction from their parents. Perhaps the most significant effect is the increased rate at which
children
 use the internet more and multiple types of
site
access
 uses like fraud pages, adult pages, and sexual assault. Indeed,
this
site
 is affected by
children
, not any restriction by
this
site
; most of the
children
's early education is damaged and route
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 used by parents. Another adverse effect of teenagers is not about what is wrong or right, and they follow their classmates. With more efficiency, the child has life experience like their elders, so overutilization of
site
 usage by
children
 has a good impact on the mindset of teens. There are many solutions to
this
 problem. One option is to restrict if any adults’ sites are locked by the government, which parents would help. In terms of many parents’ proper supervision uses like
time
 management, how to support skills, and entertainment
access
site
 uses, need an adequate
time
 limit. Electronic gadgets adults’ restriction,
for example
, only undergraduates use social media if any primary or secondary child does not use social sites. Ultimately, the
time
 limit must be reduced to one hour per day and only for necessary study research. In conclusion,
although
 there are many cons associated with easy
access
 to the web among today's generation
due to
 immaturity, it can be solved if preventive measures are taken within
time
 by families.
Submitted by nikhilnath1996 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay struggles with coherence and cohesion. The paragraphs lack a clear logical structure, and ideas are not presented in an organized manner. To improve, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, and ensure that each subsequent sentence logically follows the one before it.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, be more specific in addressing the prompt. You should develop your ideas fully, ensuring that each point is explained and relevant to the question. Aim to provide specific examples that support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unsupervised
  • put children at risk
  • problems
  • dealing with
  • lack of awareness
  • online risks
  • monitoring
  • invasion of privacy
  • online addiction
  • cyberbullying
  • inappropriate content
  • proper guidance
  • digital literacy skills
  • time management
  • parental involvement
  • education
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