In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Nowadays people are interested in their child's development and
give
confidence in their activities. A number of people believe that giving the courage to try hard things at the early stage is good for the future. Verb problem
have
This
essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of developing the younger generation with this
message.
Firstly
, One of the major benefits of developing the skill of trying hard at a younger age is they can reach a higher level. It gives self-confidence and not to find it difficult even if others feel bad to initiate any task. When they grew
up with motivating thoughts they can take any risks to achieve goals. Wrong verb form
grow
For instance
, In India Kutraleeswaran tried hard and swim
through the Indian Ocean to reach Sri Lanka. He was rewarded and his achievement was recognised and written in Wrong verb form
swam
World
Guinness Record at the age of 12.
Correct article usage
the World
On the contrary
, if they encourage children without any clear goal will take into life dangerous
. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, in ,childhood they are not fully aware of the risks to be taken for achievement. Parents can not force the
kids to try hard things because of publicity. Change the word
their
For example
, My friend compares his son with the neighbour
kids about achievement in TV shows. Later, the kid Change noun form
neighbour's
lost
his self-confidence and Wrong verb form
loses
suffer
from their internal feelings.
In conclusion, Encouraging children to achieve big is really a good manner but at the same , Correct subject-verb agreement
suffers
the
time they can not force Correct article usage
apply
to
fulfil their parents' interests. In conclusion, I feel that developing the next generation to take risks makes its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
Submitted by karthikbala85 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task prompt. Develop a clear opinion on the advantages and disadvantages and support it with relevant arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the coherence by organizing the essay more logically. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas throughout the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite