IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many places, large chain stores are taking over the marketplace, making it impossible for small businesses to compete with them What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#places #chain #stores #marketplace #businesses #situation #support
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It is true that popular
chain
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stores
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 are becoming dominant in the marketplace, which makes it extremely difficult for new smaller shops to compete against them. There are a few positives that large
businesses
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 offer to the marketplace.
Firstly
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, large successful
stores
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 can act as a source of motivation for smaller shops to be accomplished in the
business
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 and follow their example of success.
Additionally
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, many of the popular
chain
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stores
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 rely on start-up companies to supply them with
products
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, which allows smaller
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business
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businesses
show examples
 to promote and market their
products
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 in a more efficient way.
One
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 example that highlights
this
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 healthy relationship, is local farmers who supply large
chain
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 grocery
stores
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 with their
products
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 in order to make
it
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them
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 more accessible to consumers without having to deal with the marketing aspect of
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business
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the business
a business
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.
Furthermore
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, large
stores
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 are often appealing to customers as they provide a wide range of
products
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 in
one
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 place, which in turn allows shoppers to save time finding all their needs in
one
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 store.
On the other hand
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, there
a
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are a
show examples
number of drawbacks that are worth mentioning. The marketing power some large chains possess can create a monopoly over the marketplace.
This
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 may have a negative impact on new smaller
businesses
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 entering the market to compete with those who are already
estabilished
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established
 as giant
businesses
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.
On the other hand
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, the guaranteed success of big
stores
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 may lead to a lack of
product's
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product
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 quality, owing to the lack of meaningful competition from other
businesses
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.
One
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 example is popular coffee shops,
who
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which
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 often rely on their popularity to sell their
products
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 without putting much effort
on
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into
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 ensuring that their drinks are of high quality and consistency. In
conculsion
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conclusion
, the presence of large
chain
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stores
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 in the market can provide some advantages to both customers and smaller
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business
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businesses
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.
However
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, there are
few
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a few
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 disadvantages that may create
an
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apply
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unhealthy competition and affect
quality
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the quality
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 of
products
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.
Submitted by ramtariqh on

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task achievement
To further improve your essay, make sure that your points are always supported by specific and relevant examples. You used an example about local farmers and coffee shops, but providing one more specific example for each point would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor inaccuracies in spelling and word choice, such as 'conculsion' instead of 'conclusion' and 'estabilished' instead of 'established'. This will make your writing appear more polished.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and each point is clearly presented in its own paragraph, which helps maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the presence of large chain stores in the marketplace.
task achievement
You have a strong understanding of the topic and have provided an insightful discussion of the issues involved.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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