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Band 5.5

In many places, large chain stores are taking over the marketplace, making it impossible for small businesses to compete with them What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#places #chain #stores #marketplace #businesses #situation #support
It is true that popular
chain
stores
 are becoming dominant in the marketplace, which makes it extremely difficult for new smaller shops to compete against them. There are a few positives that large
businesses
 offer to the marketplace.
Firstly
, large successful
stores
 can act as a source of motivation for smaller shops to be accomplished in the
business
 and follow their example of success.
Additionally
, many of the popular
chain
stores
 rely on start-up companies to supply them with
products
, which allows smaller
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 to promote and market their
products
 in a more efficient way.
One
 example that highlights
this
 healthy relationship, is local farmers who supply large
chain
 grocery
stores
 with their
products
 in order to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more accessible to consumers without having to deal with the marketing aspect of
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
.
Furthermore
, large
stores
 are often appealing to customers as they provide a wide range of
products
 in
one
 place, which in turn allows shoppers to save time finding all their needs in
one
 store.
On the other hand
, there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
number of drawbacks that are worth mentioning. The marketing power some large chains possess can create a monopoly over the marketplace.
This
 may have a negative impact on new smaller
businesses
 entering the market to compete with those who are already
estabilished
Correct your spelling
established
 as giant
businesses
.
On the other hand
, the guaranteed success of big
stores
 may lead to a lack of
product's
Change noun form
product
show examples
 quality, owing to the lack of meaningful competition from other
businesses
.
One
 example is popular coffee shops,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 often rely on their popularity to sell their
products
 without putting much effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 ensuring that their drinks are of high quality and consistency. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the presence of large
chain
stores
 in the market can provide some advantages to both customers and smaller
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
However
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 disadvantages that may create
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
unhealthy competition and affect
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
products
.
Submitted by ramtariqh on

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task achievement
To further improve your essay, make sure that your points are always supported by specific and relevant examples. You used an example about local farmers and coffee shops, but providing one more specific example for each point would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor inaccuracies in spelling and word choice, such as 'conculsion' instead of 'conclusion' and 'estabilished' instead of 'established'. This will make your writing appear more polished.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and each point is clearly presented in its own paragraph, which helps maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the presence of large chain stores in the marketplace.
task achievement
You have a strong understanding of the topic and have provided an insightful discussion of the issues involved.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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