IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such widespread in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#life #parent’s #generation #illnesses #world #stress
In our century humans have become more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
, and it is caused by several things.I believe that it is not as big a problem as we can though.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will find the main source of
this
 global problem and give advice to people on which way to solve it. Actually,life has become much more difficult than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past.
This
 has led to increased
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 illnesses around the globe. Stress has become a problem in today’s world because of increased job load and poor diet. It can be solved by having a balanced
work
-life routine and improving dietary habits.Going into detail,we should have
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 sleeping mode,diet and
work
,that you like.In fact,many people
sleeps
Change the verb form
sleep
show examples
 less,than they need,cause of
this
 factor they don’t have energy all day,and when human sleeps less,they will be very
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
.Indeed,
Add an article
the not
a not
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 less important thing,it’s diet,our organism
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 healthy food,so we’ll have happy feelings all day.Many scientists proved
this
 fact,because,when we eat fast foods,our stomachs don’t
work
 properly,that’s why we have
Replace the word
various
show examples
vary
Correct your spelling
very
show examples
 pains and always want to sleep.
Therefore
,we don’t take
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
 protein.What can we say about how
work
 can be unhealthy and stressful? When people
work
 more than they can,they might be tired.They won’t have productive days
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will be stressed. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I want to give you advice, you need to know your limits.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
show examples
 you’ll have an efficient and productive lifestyle.
Submitted by Danial on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: