IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#research #characteristics #influence #personality #development #experiences #life
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There are two main opinions of human beings' natural
characteristics
Use synonyms
 and their environment. Though it is not possible to ignore the natural
characteristics
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,
still
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apply
show examples
the importance of environment and experiences outweighs the former. On one hand,
people
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 say that the effect of the ways they are born with is so enormous that almost every result that they are trying to make is already ready-made.
That is
Linking Words
, once
people
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's
characteristics
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 are made when they were born, it would be hard to change them.
For example
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, when some
people
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 were born with high resilience and
positiveness
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positivity
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, they would be more patient and less likely to give up something easily than those who are not, after experiencing difficulties thanks to their natural
characteristics
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many examples that prove
surrounding
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the surrounding
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 environment and atmosphere can switch someone's character. If they were naturally very introverted, they
can
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could
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 still be extroverted and socially connected with tons of
people
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, if twins had been born but grew up in different family houses, their
characters
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 look way different from each other despite the same inheritance.
That is
Linking Words
, even though one of the twins looks shy and submissive in front of strangers because of his or her natural character, the other one looks adventurous and open-minded to new affairs
due to
Linking Words
 her or his background with other
people
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. In conclusion, though the importance of natural
characters
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 cannot be ignored, as the experiences that
people
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 have after they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 born play a key role in making their
characters
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, their effects
of
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apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
outweigh the natural
Use synonyms
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
.
Submitted by seonnie on

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task response
Your essay provides a balanced view but remember to clearly state your position in the introduction and develop it throughout the essay. Also, avoid repeating the same points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with the use of transition words, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Ensure that each paragraph relates to the main topic and the ideas are logically presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
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