IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV has bad influences, so this kind of infornation should be restricted on the media. To what extend do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words

#people #description #newspaper #tv #influences #infornation #media
In recent decades, news has played an important role in our lives and specific information about crimes is not always proper to be published. In my opinion, it is wise to consider whether the specific details of an illegal action should be broadcasted.
To begin
 with, televisions and newspapers are approachable for most people in our society and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 may not be appropriate for certain types of people. A noticeable amount of people in the community
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not ready to hear horrific and creepy things, normally considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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illegal that a person can do to others.
For instance
, no parents would allow their child to watch horror movies or those which consist of killings and it works the same way as criminal news. Each content creator must be certain about what they will be publishing to the public, which can badly affect
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
users
Change to a genitive case
user's
users'
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 mental health.
Accordingly
, it is reasonable to restrict and consider thoroughly what information the customers will receive and modify the sensitive news properly.
Furthermore
, illegal actions
on
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in
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 the media can possibly give the public a way to break the law. Crimes are strategised more and more intelligently day by day and they are made to get away with improper behaviours that the government can not find out.
Thus
, by bringing that kind of knowledge
on
Change preposition
to
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 the media, viewers are offered an example
on
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of
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 how to achieve their personal needs without legal principles by following what
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been done.
Therefore
, it is only allowed to give information about the general aspects of the case
instead
 of giving specific ones. To sum up, from my perspective, the media have to be restrained with specific
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 about crimes for both
customers
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customer's
customers'
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 mental health and
also
protecting
Change preposition
to protecting
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 the public from
Correct article usage
the possibilities
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possibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
show examples
 of illegal actions.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

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