IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, pressure on school and university students has been increasing and they are pushed to work very hard from a young age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#years #pressure #school #university #students #work #age #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that young people are under more
pressure
Use synonyms
 than ever before. Still, I automatically gravitate to young people who should be lighthearted during
this
Linking Words
 period. On the one hand, it seems to me that the motivation of learning is galvanised by interest, not whips.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Millennials who grew up in the age of individuality will dislike someone who pushes them to do something against their will.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, students should devote their time and energy to the process of learning,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which it needs much time to refine the essence of knowledge. If we push them too hard,
this
Linking Words
 will inevitably disrupt the pace of the journey.
Hence
Linking Words
, schools should cultivate students’ passion for life and critical thinking rather than rote learning and copying.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is believed that tremendous
pressure
Use synonyms
 will certainly destroy a young person’s confidence, hope, and faith.
For example
Linking Words
, over recent years suicide rates have been increasing rapidly on campus. We should not ignore the fact that many students who are in the vulnerable stages of life years cannot take so much
pressure
Use synonyms
 from many aspects. Meanwhile, excessive
pressure
Use synonyms
 will mean that children will miss out on some of the good things in life,
such
Linking Words
 as friendship and curiosity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, at a young age, society should be more patient, empathetic, and tolerant, which will enable a comfortable environment to help them find their inner self.
Submitted by minhthuanfire on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: