Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

#people #diet #exercises #reason #lifestyle

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In the contemporary world, more and more people are

turning

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

unhealthy

due to

Linking Words

a lack of physical exercise. I opine that it is attributed to the extravagant lifestyle with easy availability of food, increased usage of digital gadgets and less interest in sports.

Further

Linking Words

this

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can be curbed by introducing parks and gymnasia and banning a few unhealthy foods in shops.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the major factor for the drastic descent in public health is the immediate accessibility of junk.

In other words

Linking Words

, children are attracted to the tasty, processed food in the shops

nearby

Change preposition

near

show examples

their schools

while

Linking Words

adults could use online services.

Secondly

Linking Words

, many forks are addicted to digital gadgets, which makes them dull and lethargic.

For instance

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, video games like Mario have gained the attention of millions of users across the world, who play them for many hours.

However

Linking Words

, despite many factors contributing to less fitness, the introduction of gymnasia and parks in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

societies can let many join them by making them more accessible.

For example

Linking Words

, a recent study in United

Stated

Correct your spelling

States

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reveals that the more parks in a society, the greater

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the number of fit people.

Besides

Linking Words

that, sports should be given prior significance in the academic curriculum,

thus

Linking Words

improving the participation of more students in them. We should

also

Linking Words

ban the shops with processed items and alcohol.

Finally

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, we should raise awareness about a balanced diet and how to ensure

intake

Correct article usage

the intake

show examples

of the required nutrients weekly.

To conclude

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, the alarming rate of unfitness is

due to

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the surroundings and habits. If we can prevent these factors

such

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as the availability of junk, technological addiction and dedicating less time to physical activities, and act in the above-mentioned ways,

this

Linking Words

problem can be stopped.

Submitted by puliroshinishetty on Wed Apr 06 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly linked to the main points. Provide a brief overview and summary of the main arguments in these sections for better cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate directly to the main idea. Use transition words to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and statistical data to support the arguments. This will enhance the credibility and persuasiveness of the essay.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

You want to arrange a conferfor your company, and you need to ask one of your colleagues to give a presentation in this conference.

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You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter • explain why you want to reduce your working hours • say which hours you would like to work • describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spent most of the time indoors and have little exposure to the nature. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons of your answers and give relevant example of your experience.

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?