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Band 7.5

Do you consider viewing television a waste of time?

#television #waste #time
Nowadays, life offers us several possibilities for almost everything, but our time remains a constant, finite resource. Once it is gone, it never comes back.
Therefore
, it is essential to strive
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
balance between the demands of our professional and academic endeavors,
as well as
 our other commitments
while
also
 making space for leisure activities. In my opinion, watching TV is a great way to unwind and relax and it is not worthless. Television listings are an inexhaustible source of entertainment and enrichment for all sorts of interests. Whether you want to improve your culinary skills, learn about a new culture, do some exercises, or simply escape to a different world for a
while
, there is a channel out there for you.
Furthermore
, TV is available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If the weather is bad, we can simply curl up on the couch with our loved ones and create amazing moments. No matter when we can enjoy it at our convenience, whether early morning or in the middle of the night we will find something to watch.
While
 television can be a fountain of quality entertainment and relaxation, some argue that its drawbacks outweigh its benefits. Critics point to the passive nature of TV viewing can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and increase health problems
such
 as obesity and cardiovascular diseases.
Moreover
, constant exposure to a television´s stimulating content can negatively impact cognitive development, particularly in younger viewers, by reducing the attention span and hindering the ability to focus on tasks. In conclusion,
while
 recognizing the concerns about potential problems, I firmly maintain that the judicious integration of
this
 form of entertainment into our lives can yield educational, recreational, and social benefits. Striking a mindful balance and making informed choices empower us to harness the positive aspects of television,
thus
 enriching our
overall
 well-being and quality of life.
Submitted by bsb.roberta on

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task achievement
While your essay demonstrates a clear position throughout, to achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure that your ideas are developed thoroughly and examples are not just mentioned but explained and related to the argument more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good use of paragraphing with an introduction and conclusion, which helps in scoring for coherence and cohesion. Enhance the essay's flow by employing a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational programs
  • Relaxation
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Low-brow programs
  • Social interaction
  • Mental health
  • Cultural medium
  • Parental control
  • Constructive use
  • Passive activity
  • Leisure
  • Physical inactivity
  • Health issues
  • Anxiety and stress
  • Viewing habits
  • Excessive watching
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