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Band 7.5

More and more people move away from family and friends for working. Do the advanatges outweigh disadvantages

#people #move #friends #advanatges
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Living far from family and friends seems to be one of the ubiquitous requirements for work in the present life. Even though many
people
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 believe that it could bring benefits, I would argue that its drawback outstrips, including expense and unwanted health problems. The only positive experience an individual can gain from living alone at a distance from relatives and friends is independence. When a person lives alone, aside from working, he has to do every chore by himself. No one will wake him up in the morning but him, the person who cleans the room is him. The individual has eventually become independent since there is no one to help to do the domestic chores.
Nevertheless
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, I side with those who believe that the disadvantages outweigh. The
first
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 thing when
people
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 think about renting an apartment is the cost. Including the living cost, it will become a problem for the person who wants to live alone, far from their family and acquaintances. In Asia, and maybe in other parts of the world, young
people
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 who have a job usually send some money to their parents as a thank you for raising them.
However
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, because of the expensive living expenses, young adults will have to work hard or do more jobs, which leads to some unwanted health problems. There will be stress building up in the working process, and physically weakened due to the overwork,
people
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 would be diagnosed with some serious health issues like depression, eating disorders, bad eyesight, and so on. Those problems should be treated immediately or they will get worse, and there is another expenditure for that. To sum up, moving away does sound like a good idea to grow independence.
However
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, the cost of money that comes with it is a big demerit of the idea.
Instead
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 of that, living with parents or close to them could help a lot when there is a big crisis at the workplace.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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