IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Media nd news show crimes and news which case fear and provoke culprit.Some people think that crime news on tv should not be broadcasted. To wat extent do you agree or disagree.

Mass communication show unlawful acts on
television
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 cause unpleasant feelings and anger in
offenders
Use synonyms
.Other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that unlawful acts on
television
Use synonyms
 should not be aired .In my opinion ,I disagree that unlawful acts should not be broadcasted.
However
Linking Words
, they should because it will alert
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society about what is happening. To a lesser extent , crime news should not be broadcasted.
This
Linking Words
 is because it causes unpleasant feelings and
instigate
Change the verb form
instigates
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offenders
Use synonyms
 .Many
people
Use synonyms
 are not comfortable watching bad things on tv,it promotes instant fear and uncomfortable situation.Broadcasting crime on
television
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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makes
offenders
Use synonyms
 angry because they don't like to
Add a missing verb
be exposed
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exposed
Change the form of the verb
expose
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, when there was a bank robbery ,and they managed to escape ,they get angry because they are looking for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, to a greater extent crimes should be broadcasted because the
people
Use synonyms
 should be alerted about what is happening around them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they will take extra
precaution
Fix the agreement mistake
precautions
show examples
.Broadcasting on
television
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, a wanted person ,
people
Use synonyms
 will know that someone dangerous is on the loose.
As a result
Linking Words
, everyone is going to be alert. In my opinion,crime news should be aired because it will notify
people
Use synonyms
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
what is happening around them. In conclusion,mass communication causes unpleasant feelings and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
offenders
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be angry .

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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